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Old Friends

October 16, 2009
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The other day I was catching up on my ‘Heroes’ season 4 (which I will say is significantly better than season 3 so far).There was a line in that really struck a chord with me and recent events, and I paraphrase “sometimes you need to know who you were to know who you are.”

The phrase struck a chord for several reasons. Firstly, I’m currently going through some huge changes right now. Moving to a new city, getting ready to find new friends and social circles, and even the possibility of going back to school and starting a new career. Redefining oneself in so many ways you become fairly introspective. Trying to find out who you really are and planning a new trajectory. Secondly, I’ve been seeing a bunch of old friends recently. It’s always interested seeing old friends. I feel like when you leave your friends, (good friends especially), time just freezes the moment you say good-bye. And that next time you see each other you pick up right where you left off. You notice the differences when you see them again: signs of aging, a new haircut, new clothes and style, and maybe a few new words in their vocabulary. But behind that new shirt and behind those new glasses is the same laugh you remember from high school, the same ticks and foibles that you’ve always known and associated with your friend.

I was once talking to my brother about aging, and getting older. In my opinion we don’t really change, we just mature. Just like with wine, the flavors don’t radically change from grape to vino. A pinot grape will contain all of the characteristics of a pinot, but depending on the yeast used, the length of aging, and the barrel used, subtle differences will arise. I think humans are the same. We come into this word and with a set of genetic gifts and inherited traits. Our parents and environment develop our morals and character, and from there we are thrown out into the “real world”. We grow and mature, but I don’t think we every really change. I sort of realized this seeing some old friends again. They all have careers, their own lives now, but deep down there is so much I remember from them in high school. And in a way they have helped by holding a mirror to myself, showing me who I was at one time.

With all of my changes recently it has been nice to see old school mates and friends to get a feeling of who I was, which really has helped me figure out where I’m going. I think there is a lot I’ve forgotten about myself in the last few years. But like George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” I think it’s important to find a place that makes you happy. Do things that make you happy. And surround yourself with friends that make you happy. And sometimes you need to look back to a different time to help rediscover that.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. ghettoblackify permalink
    October 16, 2009 2:19 pm

    interesting..

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