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28

May 25, 2009

zodiac-signs-3

It’s always interesting to go back and read writing from your past. Tonight, sipping my tea and reading last year’s birthday post I find  it fascinating to see what one full year can do in your life. In my post last year at this same time I was brimming with optimism- excited about my career path, happy to grow another year wiser and stronger, and excited about the upcoming year. I still have excitement for another year of life, experience, and knowledge. I’ve always felt like an old soul (with the heart of a child), and I do like love getting older. I continue to learn and become wiser. I continue to train my body and become stronger and more agile. I continue to explore and nourish my soul. I like being able to make my own life decisions, learning everyday how to run my own life just a bit more each day. I still enjoy the occasional late night, but I find myself happier when I’m going to bed early and waking up early for a yoga class, a climbing trip, or breakfast with friends. But outside of the wonderful feeling of gaining another year of experience I can’t help but feel uneasy at the prospect of turning another year on my life calender.

I’m 28 years of age, and I’m still unsure of my life’s path. I feel like at 28 people should have some concrete idea of what they are doing in life, but right now I couldn’t tell you what mine is. Sure I have goals and aspirations I’m still striving towards, but in the long run I feel unsure of my long term plans. Where am I going to live? How can I balance raising a family with a crazy job? Am I wasting time here in LA? Why can’t a ski mountain exist closer to me. Should I give myself a chance to live somewhere else? These are all questions that pop into my mind constantly. 

For me this year was a year full of transitions and transformations. I moved up professionally, but discovered the paradox of loving work but disliking certain parts of the industry.  I also contemplated changing careers, but decided to stick to the “industry” for a bit longer. I found closure with a girl-friend of seven years only to find eight months later she’s engaged. I rediscovered my love of the outdoors, yet I’m still trying to learn to love LA. I was starved from work for a long stretch, but used the time to learn more about investing selling items on eBay. I furthered my jiu-jitsu training, but had two frustrating tournament defeats. 

But despite some pitfalls and perils this year I’ve persevered.  As Oliver Goldsmith said, “Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall.” I’ve looked into education as a career option, and I feel comfortable that it’ll still be there in a few years. I’m giving entertainment more time-with some good leads, some new ideas, and some fresh inspiration I’m excited to continue down that path for now. After a full year my heart is finally healed, and I think I’m ready to truly love someone again, I just have to find them (if they even exist in LA). I’ve rediscovered my love for skiing, climbing, and spending time outdoors. I’ve discovered some great outdoor sites around LA, and I plan to explore camping in Northern California more. I’m looking forward to trying to spend more time in the outdoors this year, and I think it’s going to be my key to staying sane in LA. Despite not working for a large part of the year thus far I’ve learned a good amount about investing, cutting my personal costs, and making money on the side. I plan to continue to save and spend wisely, and hopefully make up for this crazy freelance work lifestyle. I started to compete again in jiu-jitsu, and had two good tournaments. Both ended in poor fashion- I lost by tapping when I was ahead on points. But those loses taught me that I have much more to learn. As a result I’ve slowed my jiu-jitsu game, and I’m learning to let the techniques work for themselves (as I typed that sentence I realize it’s a wonderful metaphor for life in general). 

I may not have a degree in my future, nor a raise, an engagement, or a new town to move to in the near future, but I’m trying not to worry too much. Like my jiu-jitsu game, I’m trying to slow down things and enjoy the day-to-day. I think that’s the secret to life. Life is not a race, nor a competition. You’ve got to be happy, and enjoy life’s little pleasures. With everything awful that is happening in the world today I become more and more thankful to the blessed existence I have. I have good friends, good family, and my health. I should be thankful for the wonderful life I have so far. And for the time being I’m content to drive slowly for now. My sandals kicked off, windows down, good music on the radio, and just driving. I have a destination in sight, but I’m in no rush to get there.

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