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Beijing Opening Ceremony

August 28, 2008

Well I finally saw the opening ceremony last night, and it was as impressive as everyone keeps telling me. After being a part of a few live events (and a fairly large one mind you), it’s breath-taking to see what that production group was able to create. I asked my old boss if the opening ceremony gave him some ideas. He said yes, but they would never ever come close to that kind of budget. I guess he helped create the Atlanta Opening ceremony, but that paled in comparison. And I think every event will pale in comparison after this. What live show will ever get a 100 million dollar budget, over 10,000 volunteer performers, and the visionary talents of one of the worlds most creative cinematic directors Zhang Yimou (Or in Chinese Yimou Zhang. Known for both art and wuxia pien films such as: Raise the Red Lantern, Happy Times, Hero, House of Flying Daggers). I just feel bad for Vancouver and London, they have a pretty high bar set. But as I mentioned in a previous blog I am very excited and proud for the Chinese. I love the people, and I love the country. There were a lot of eyes on this event, and I think China did an excellent job showing the positive attributes that can be found within their nation: hospitality, hard work, pride, community, and family. 

Some other notes:
• Who cares if they digitally enhanced the fireworks. I think that’s innovation if you ask me. The artists are given a completely abstract idea and they have to perform it live. Like I always say, “sweeter not harder.”
• The boxes were incredible. You know what I’m talking about. 
• China is going to be rolling in the tourist dollars for the next couple of years. Which kind of sucks, cause I want to go back, and now it’s going to be very crowded. 
• I don’t think that the event ever could happen in a democratic state. Most of those people were volunteers, and just happy to be there. In the US we’d have to worry about unions, they would inflate the budget, yadda yadda yadda. As much as you may dislike communism you have to admit they put on a good show. 
• There was a point where Putin and George Bush seemed to be having a heated argument during the celebrations. Apparently the Australian prime minister leaked that they were talking about the Georgian conflict that happened earlier that week. A) You’re a leader of a country. Isn’t there some leader code stating that you don’t blab things you overhear to the media?  B) I would have loved to hear that conversation, I wonder what it sounded like…
Putin: Evening George. 
Bush: Evening Vlad. 
Putin: Wonderful weather we’re having tonight. 
Bush: Yes. Wonderful… Sooooo my sources tell me you invaded Georgia.

Putin: Do we have to talk about this right now? They have a thousand glowing drums playing right now, can’t we just enjoy the show?
Bush: Stay the fuck out of Georgia. 
Putin: What did you say? 
Bush: I said stay the fuck out of Georgia. The USSR is dead pal. Dead.
Putin: Listen cowboy, just because Georgia has the first four letters of your name doesn’t mean you can dictate your business over there.
Bush: …. (thinks for a little bit)
Putin: You don’t even know how to spell your own name do you? 
Bush: That’s not the point here Vlad. The point is you’re pulling military action on a nation that did not threaten you in any way. 
Putin: Oh, a thousand apologies. We certainly shouldn’t attack a country without reason. [cough]  Iraq
Bush: They had weapons of mass destruction.
Putin: [moves hand in a jerking-off motion] Sure George, weapons of mass destruction. 
Bush: You want me to nuke you? Cause I will nuke you, I have the button right here in my pocket. 
Putin: Go for it. We have satellites that will shoot down your puny missile. 
Bush: Oh yeah? Well we have satellites that will shoot down your missile, make a cappuccino, AND send you the Texas Rangers games in HD. 
Putin: Really? You have that? 
Bush: Yeah, it’s pretty cool. 
Nicholas Sarkozy: Hey guys, I can’t finish this crepe. Either of you want one? 
Bush: What’s in it? 
Sarkozy: I think it’s an orange and brandy crepe. 
Putin: I’m allergic to oranges.
Bush: Well si vous play. I love crepes. Hey aren’t you boycotting this olympics?
Sarkozy: Well, I was going to, but Carla’s never been to China, and she kept begging me to reconsider. 
Putin: Ah. Women. 
Bush: Man this is a good crepe. 
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One Comment leave one →
  1. Jacolyn permalink
    September 5, 2008 5:38 pm

    hilarious!!! i love it!!

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